Awesome Date!

So, I had an amazing date tonight. We started off at a little pub that I recommended, great conversation, great body language and lots of laughs. We then proceeded to walk over to the movie theater close by. Looking at the times and choices he asked if we should see a movie I have been wanting to see "Letters to Juliette". Seemed perfect, right? But..I could not help but finding myself getting lost in a memory, in someone else, someone in the past. Why cant I escape this ghost? A man that I cant get out of my head, someone that was never mine. Is it the person or the essence of the man I want?

I love 80's love songs!!!

Here are a few that I find myself listening to late at night.

True Colors

Each day I learn something new, if I don't, than what was the day for? Sometimes the things I learn, I cant seem to apply right away but none the less I learn. I love the fact that all my friends are so different and come from all walks of the world. It is so much easier to give advice, tell some one how they are perceived, or what they need to do vs. tell yourself and apply that same theory to your own life. Each day we work on ourselves, to make us better people, where we can help our our next friend through their trials. I am working on knowing that I am amazing, beautiful and I have so much to offer this world. I know this is true but sometimes find my self doubting my qualities or worth. In the past I've taken what I can get instead of demanding what I deserve, not anymore. This fault is a big one and I know I will work on it until it is conquered. I am worth it and I need to be an example to my kids to show them what true confidence looks like.

This song reminds me how important friends are and we're beautiful!

DONE!

After my last post I stated reflecting on my life and previous posts. I came to realise I am a great person and an awesome catch! So, why am I wasting my time and mental energy on men that I KNOW will never feel the way I felt about them, wasitng time on men who are never going to want what I want. It was time to REALLY let go. DONE! Done being old reliable, done being here when "that" doesn't work out, done feelng like I was not good enough for you, DONE!!!

Say everything! Dont have regrets...EVER!

Maybe one day you will want to fall in love?

Things I should have said or wish you would have said

I think as humans we are too scared to say what we should. We hold back so we don't look too attached or maybe we are just scared of what they might think. I try so hard to say exactly what I feel, when I feel it. This has hurt me so much more than if I just kept it to myself but I continue to be honest and true to myself no matter the consequences.

There are things I want to tell someone but I know its not the right time, its best if I wait, I don't want to scare him off.

I think of you everyday. I miss you so much more than I thought I would, I cant go one day without crying because I miss you so much. When I told you to move downstairs...I wanted you to say no, that you did not know where we were going but you enjoyed staying with me. I wanted to tell you NOT to go but I knew it was best for you to move and do what you needed to do in order to get yourself where you want to be. I fell so hard for you even thou I tried so hard not too. I wanted you to tell me that you felt somewhat the same. I know you didn't want forever or even a relationship but I thought maybe you enjoyed me enough to take a little bit of a leap. I want you to ask me to come see you, I would be there in a heartbeat. The house is not the same without you, we all miss you!

I wish I could tell you all of this!